Like It or Not
by SilverMidnight52
Summary: Duke goes to bug Nathan at his home one day. Before he could announce that he was there though he sees something he wasn't expecting. What does him seeing this reveal about their relationship? Read warning inside. One-shot.


Came to me while I was watching 'Haven' fanvideo's. I just love these two together. Can be taken as a pre-slash or just a friendship. Either really up to the reader.

Talk of self-harm. One-shot.

I own nothing. Please review!

* * *

"Nathan," a voice gasped form behind me.

I turned away from the mirror I was staring into while pulling a hoodie over my head, but the damage was already done. There was no way that whoever that was hadn't seen. I had been so careful over the years. No one had ever found out before. Until now.

My heart sped up in my chest as I squeezed my eyes shut. I really didn't want to turn around . I didn't want to know who knew my secret now or see the pity in their eyes. People always pitied me when they realized I couldn't feel. They never understood it was just physical. They thought I had no emotions too.

That one I never corrected. I didn't want people around me anymore. Maybe I never did. They were more trouble than they were worth. Don't get me wrong. I had tried to have normal relationships for awhile after my trouble started, but everyone always expected me to do physical reactions. Kiss, hold hands, have sex, but I didn't. I felt nothing.

After the fifth person left I gave up. If I couldn't feel than I should be alone. It was safer that way anyway. That didn't mean that it hurt any less. I do have feelings! And I had been young and stupid when this happened. I thought that if I could make myself feel something physical I'd be…Cured? Or whatever.

So I did the only thing I could think of. I took my Dad's switch blade and used it to carve myself up. My legs, arms, chest, basically every piece of skin I cuold reach that could easily be covered. It was only because I wanted to feel something. At least that's what it was like at first. Then, for the longest time, all I felt was anger and I couldn't take it out on anyone else.

Over the years it grew and I found myself feeling an emotional release whenever I harmed myself. Yes, I know it's ridiculous for someone my age to be doing this, but I couldn't bring myself to give it up and I had tried to before. My mind just seemed to buzz with pent up emotions. How else was I supposed to get rid of them? It wasn't like anything else worked.

Now I found myself covered in scars. Some were just lines with now real meaning behind them. Others I made little designs. Swirls, loops, shapes. Then there were words. I usually only wrote when I was pissed about something. There were actually more words than I'd like to admit. Maybe I did get angry easily.

That wasn't my fault. I tried to be nice, to get along with them. Then I tried to ignore them, to become invisible. Nothing seemed to work. They wanted me to know they knew I was there. Why I had no idea, but that's what they wanted. And no matter how much I wanted it I couldn't hid away in my home or office to avoid them. I really wish I could do that.

Just hid away from everyone forever. Except Audrey. She seemed to be the only person that actually cared about me and didn't bother thinking about me trouble unless I got hurt. It was the most refreshing thing I had felt in years. I liked that feeling so much that I wished I could end up dating her.

I couldn't do that to her though. Or anyone for that matter. People needed to be with someone that could feel. Someone that wanted to sit there and kiss or have sex with. I could do it, but I didn't really get any pleasure out of it. I didn't really get pleasure out of anything anymore.

I found myself so lost in my thoughts that I forgot I wasn't alone anymore. At least I did until I heard the person trip over something. Spinning around I pointed the blade in my hand at the person and felt the breath leave me. It was Duke. Duke was the person that found me. That now knew what I did to myself. Who was going to use this to get off on every illegal things he did now. That was just a _wonderful_ thing to know was my fault. It was so freaking awesome.

"What did you do?" Duke questioned his eyes never leaving my now covered chest.

"I don't know what you think you saw," I spoke as calmly as I could, "But whatever you're thinking you're wrong."

"So you didn't cause the scars that you're covered in?"

Instead of answering the man I turned away. Duke loved making my life hell. He's been making fun of me for as long as I can remember. If he thought for one moment I was…Before I could finish that thought a hand spun me around so I was facing the criminal. All the control I had snapped.

"Don't touch me," I growled pushing him away, "I'm so tired of people thinking touching me is going to help. Well, news flash. In case you've forgotten…I can't feel physical sensations!"

"I know that," Duke responded glaring at me, "Why do you think I always push your buttons?"

"What?"

"You never…Nathan, all the years of you not feeling kill me because I want to help you. To hug you and say everything will be fine. I can't though because you couldn't feel it. So I fight with you and push you until…"

"Until I show emotions. Until I feel something."

"Emotionally. Yes."

"Why didn't you just say something?"

"After what happened when we were kids would you have believed me? No, you wouldn't have. I just wanted to remind you that you were alive. But this, man. This has got to stop."

"I've tried. I can't…I can't stop."

"You can and you will."

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm helping you. And I always succeed at what I'm doing. You know that."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Helping me."

"Because you're my friend. Like it or not."


End file.
